this storm that's broken me, my only friend..

I can't miss you. Cause missing is bad. I remember the day when every single thing became meaningless to you. And i can't not remember all these months. It will pass- i tell myself. Time will take it. It will pass. As the time is passing nothing is changin'. I decided you're on the other side. Still, the other side is not far enough. Between mine and yours is just a thin thread. They say it gets thicker day by day. But as the days are passing by i can't see the change. It's as thin as it was at the start. There's no days, there's no time that could change things.Everywhere i go i look around and im trying to find you. I can feel your touch, hear your voice.. Everywhere.. A sadness grows inside of me and it all seems so unfair.And all the pain i should feel i push it down, i push it somewhere inside of me where no one wants to be. One look at that place and everything you ever thought you were is everything you have ever been afraid of. I see your face and still, after everything, it makes me smile. I can hear the whisper from my broken heart, im still swallowing the goodbye. And it seems like everything is broken, just when my brain decides to remember. Remembering is the hardest thing i have ever done. The sun isn't shining as it used to. And i can feel the rain, again, falling on my head like a memory. One drop, one feeling, one memory, new emotions-pain.I keep everything inside of me, im just another lost soul. You shall take the place inside of fire with me. I'll be broken another time i tell myself. I am stricken and i can't let you go even you're already gone. I wanna know if i'll heal inside, im so tired of being punished for just simply existing. I think it's enough for me tasting the hell this time. Im running from myself. Don't want others to see me falling, running from who i am. From who i've became. It is beyond my control will we ever meet again.I can feel the animal inside, pounding on the doors of my mind.And i can feel the fear inside of me but i can't bring myself to scream. I've found something i should be happy for, guess what happens? I remember. I never really had a chance on that fateful moonlit night, i thought i could fight, but until i realise why is it so hard to let go, i won't be able to fight the feelings i don't want to feel. Scroll down.. First post.. 13th May.. From that day im building this inside of me. Now, when i found someone else to miss. Someone else to love, i can't let go. Maybe something will change.. Maybe someone will change me, my feelings.. I still hope even i know.. And that's the mistake i keep repeatin'.

fuck society's idea of beauty.

As the days were passing by, i felt nothing and everything at the same time. At one second i felt like im in the  clouds and at the other one i was deep down in hell. It's not like anything special was happing in my life, those emotions were caused by too much thinking, SCUMBAG BRAIN!
And now i became someone i once swore i'll never be.
When i turn my head around  im surrounded by people i once knew, now they're just strangers passing by. Just becuase everything have changed, we changed ourselves.
And everytime i look myself at the mirror i see the old me. Im not trying to justify for who i have become, im just saying sometimes it's not our fault for the things that are happening. It's society's fault.
And every step we take, everything we do, every wrong move we make, they're going to blame us. We should just keep our heads up, and keep living.
You'll be called a liar 'cuz you won't tell everything, you'll be called stupid 'cuz you're wrong sometimes, you'll be called fake 'cuz you're nice, fat 'cuz you eat when you're hungry, and you'll be called weird and you won't be accepted 'cuz you don't look good. You're too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short and you  always will  be too this, too that.. but keep this on your mind..
..YOU'RE NOT UGLY, SOCIETY IS.