Prikazani su postovi s oznakom hope. Prikaži sve postove
Prikazani su postovi s oznakom hope. Prikaži sve postove

23 prosinca, 2012

we lost hope in a faraway place..

She pulled the curtains. She watched the world on the outside, finding something, someone.. somewhere. Could it be that she's forgetting? Could it be that every  new step, she's making, it's a memory she's losing?
And was it really hard do that at the start, there, where she lost herself? Those lonely nights, lost tears, her smiles she forgot on her way to here, were they just something that's now simply passing? Something she actually never had but it was still there? They were keeping her alive and now, when she's losing them, she's feeling more alive than she ever did. So, could it be that everything was for nothing? And if so, is she supposed to regret it? Or just not pay attention at it? How did she came this far? Here, where all those feelings she felt, when he looked at her, are something she buried deep inside of her. So she can't feel them, anymore. How did every reason, she had to be sad, became something so strange to her, did time took it? Just like it took her? And why is she still thinking? What's that one thing that's still connecting them? He's there, even he's not. And if everything passed why are they still looking at each other, with no feelings left, just staring. He's there. She's there. They're just there, and they always will be, even though it's all they're ever going to be. He took her down, she was drowning.. Past is behind them. Things are changing, she's standing on her feet again. She's fighting and it's not something she used to believe in, even she knew she will break. He left her side, that night. Painful, night. With every new day her steps were smaller. And on and on, until she touched the ground. If she just lay there, on the same ground, would he lay with her or would he just  walk away? She asked herself all the way, did she ever crossed his mind, or if those looks he gave her are just a part of her imagination, and if he ever stopped and just for a second missed her. Is she the only one who searched for answers? She never imagined to find them. But as long as you're trying, searching, you'll find it. Her steps are bigger now. All that's left is her revenge. She'll win him back. And then, she'll make him fall, fall like she did, but she won't let him feel a thing, cause she'll feel it with him, she'll go through it with him. Make him realize, after all, everything wasn't for nothing...At least, they will always be lost in their faraway place...


14 prosinca, 2012

as he goes left and you stay right..

Where did i go wrong? I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness.. I lost my road. I lost myself. The fact that you're not here is killing me. I have to see you and know that you're not there. I can see you, but i can't feel you, anymore. I can't bring myself to scream when im alone in the room. I can't let everything just flow out of me. I keep it inside, im keeping you inside. You stood by me, and i stood by you. Now, i see you on the corner. Im lost and insecure. Back then, you found me. You were looking for me, and i let you in. You became the one i need just live a new day. I have to see you, there, where i am, laughing, making jokes.. And im lost again, im still the same. Im still insecure. But not you.. You're there and you're glad you are. I had you on my side, now i have to watch you keeping the promise you once made in a joke. You left me alone. You left me to fight this battle alone.. I was looking for the mistakes i've made, and i've never found them until now. As the days are passing im finding explanations. I decided you're on the otherside and i decided it's good. Until somehow you appear again.. And i go back to my tears. I still hope.. That's the mistake i've been doin'. But i just can't help myself. You're not making it any easier. You come and go, now you're here, the next moment you're not.. You say all those things that make me forget everything you have done. You give me that look like you miss who we were. But in reality im, again, just hoping.. nothing else..
All that's left are those unsaid words, there are still there, even i thought you said them. Even i thought i was the boredom killer. Even i spent so much time just thinking, trying to find them, trying to explain them..
Trying to just fix everything. Can't you understand? I have nothing left from all this and yet, i keep running in circles coming back to my thoughts. Locking the doors, sitting in the dark, im losing faith. The last thing i have ever imagined is watching you destroy everything i am. I don't mind being in pain. Sometimes i forget about it, but i never let anyone take it from me. Im enjoying every second of it. Every scar that it leaves. Bleeding. I was, i am bleeding on the inside. And i will never heal.. Can't you just be the old you? Can't you just tell me everything..


30 studenoga, 2012

between the lines of fear and blame,you begin to wonder why you came..

She's lost in her own words. She got lost at the start, there, where she couldn't even choose the right way. Her shadows the only one that walks beside her. And she won't find her rest until the voices in her head stop. But does she want them to stop, are they keeping her alive? Are they everything that's left for her? And she keeps asking herself where did she went wrong, and is it bad to miss him? Cause it feels so wrong but she can't stop. Only thing missing is bringing to her is pain, maybe she's born to suffer. Someone's choice changed a life. Her life. She's fighting to survive. Over and over she falls. She can't stand like she used to, she can't smile like before. Is everything that is left a little feeling of missing someone, something..?
She's a little piece of puzzle lost in a dark place. It slipped through someones hands and now it's lost forever.
You can't bring it back, you can't finish your puzzle, it's just lost. After some time, when you find it, you may be happy about it, you might be sad cause it's not same as it was. Time ruined it. Time hurt it. Time took it.
So why are you searching for it? Don't ever come back for it, don't! Cause that piece of puzzle is, well, piece of puzzle and she can't do anything about it, after everything, she'll be again yours,just like she used to,even though you know you can't finish the puzzle! With or without the last piece, it's just not the same.
If she hold back her tears will it stop? This can't be all she has. And she needs him, like she never did. And all this time she hoped he needs her too. So why is it so painful to stop crying? If crying means we're alive, is it so wrong to feel so good about feeling alive that way? Can't we change our paths? She's standing there watching him in flames. Watching him staying awake all night, burnin' in flames, taking the wrong way, way she choose. As he goes left, she goes right, they're on the other sides, other roads, still, it's the same lonely road that was meant to take them. She's lost, insecure, surrounded, and he found her. He caught that little smile on her face, the brightness in her eyes when she looked at him, at that moment he knew, knew that she would follow all the way down. That she would stay beside him, and at that same moment she lost him.
She lost him cause he realized she'll be there. No matter what. She will be there. She can't let the past go, it's not the thing she can just forget.. She can't.. Cause she's used to it. He comes, and goes, and breaks and brings the hope, brings the pain. But she? She'll be there.


13 studenoga, 2012

..heal my wounds, please?

Every feeling that i get, by every silent move you make. I never thought i would need you to be there, when i cry. I never needed someone to be there. And i can't take one more step, cause all that's waiting is regret. Don't you know how hard this is? Im running from a person i swore i'd never be. Im the one who has to face me. It's the voices i hear inside my head. Am i born to be broken? Someone, please, tell me that im ready to escape. This is not what i wanted. Im starting to miss you again. You don't have to be there. I just miss the person you used to be. So at the same time i have a chance to miss myself. I walked away, and then, when i tried to come back you pushed me aside. This storm that's broken me, my only friend, yea, it's hard for me to understand myself and then, how can i expect you to understand!? It's never enough, no matter what i do. It's all about how much im missing you, and im not supposed to. They say it's possible to grow up, completely. But i have never met someone who did. So no matter how much we try to grow up there's always that one thing that stays with us. Hope. I need to heal the hurt behind my eyes. I have to make my lies good. To move on, and to let go, or i'll fall again. Never thought i'll need someone to be with me in this pain. Never thought that would ever be you. But it seems it's been holding too strong, this shadow that's all over me. And it's all because of that, because i need you to be with me, but you don't want to be there. Why do people sacrifice the inner beauty, that's in all of us? I guess, you're safe within. I've might lost hope in you, but im still hoping for me, and all i am is you. And if that means i have to give away my inside, so will be. Im feeling the rush inside so maybe it is the end. I would, i would fall again, if i just could, for you. Day after day you're messing with my head. All these thoughts are destroying me, so it makes me believe i don't have the inner beauty to give it for you, for us. If you could hear my words would that change anything? Before i go, hear me out, you should listen to me. You never understood my words, and i haven't understood yours, but hear my looks, try and you'll see me. Im weightless again, just before the shadows... Make yourself listen. Make yourself see! Before i go, hear me out, cause it might be late.. You don't have to understand my words, just hear my heartbeat. And you'll hear me. If you only knew how every place i go reminds me of you, and every word someone tells me it's all you. It has always been, all about you. Everywhere i go, only you. They say i would give everything away to be with you, i don't want to be with you, i just need you by my side. To be there. All this im ready to give for you it's not cause i want to be with you, i don't, i  just need you to fuckin' be there. Those words were never necessary, all that was important was the silence that spoke herself, the looks, our tale..