as he goes left and you stay right..

Where did i go wrong? I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness.. I lost my road. I lost myself. The fact that you're not here is killing me. I have to see you and know that you're not there. I can see you, but i can't feel you, anymore. I can't bring myself to scream when im alone in the room. I can't let everything just flow out of me. I keep it inside, im keeping you inside. You stood by me, and i stood by you. Now, i see you on the corner. Im lost and insecure. Back then, you found me. You were looking for me, and i let you in. You became the one i need just live a new day. I have to see you, there, where i am, laughing, making jokes.. And im lost again, im still the same. Im still insecure. But not you.. You're there and you're glad you are. I had you on my side, now i have to watch you keeping the promise you once made in a joke. You left me alone. You left me to fight this battle alone.. I was looking for the mistakes i've made, and i've never found them until now. As the days are passing im finding explanations. I decided you're on the otherside and i decided it's good. Until somehow you appear again.. And i go back to my tears. I still hope.. That's the mistake i've been doin'. But i just can't help myself. You're not making it any easier. You come and go, now you're here, the next moment you're not.. You say all those things that make me forget everything you have done. You give me that look like you miss who we were. But in reality im, again, just hoping.. nothing else..
All that's left are those unsaid words, there are still there, even i thought you said them. Even i thought i was the boredom killer. Even i spent so much time just thinking, trying to find them, trying to explain them..
Trying to just fix everything. Can't you understand? I have nothing left from all this and yet, i keep running in circles coming back to my thoughts. Locking the doors, sitting in the dark, im losing faith. The last thing i have ever imagined is watching you destroy everything i am. I don't mind being in pain. Sometimes i forget about it, but i never let anyone take it from me. Im enjoying every second of it. Every scar that it leaves. Bleeding. I was, i am bleeding on the inside. And i will never heal.. Can't you just be the old you? Can't you just tell me everything..