standing on the crossroad where you have to decide..

She is not bitter. She's just sad. Her dreams are her destiny. She will find a way, her wings are broken but she'll fly, fly away. When the stars are falling down and sending voices to her mind and the moonlight is filling pieces of her heart. There, where she lost her words behind, sadness is calling her to come, she'll join the land of seas of love. One day, when she's old enough she'll realise how close she was to reality and she missed it. It slipped through her hands. At that moment all the feelings will break through her, and break her. She'll hear the words, quietly landing on her ears. And she'll find a little piece of her heart lost in the crowd, sitting there, quiet like a cloud, she'll find a smile in her eyes. She'll stand and fight. Seems like it was a long time ago. There was a crossroad and she choose the wrong way. Even she still doesn't know what is right and what is wrong. Feeling what she felt in that darkness, was a sign. It's hard to fight when you're drowning in your tears. And the flame is burning on and on. So that smile, she caught in her eyes was the dream she once, used to had. So she stands, and she fights. 'Cause she's strong, she'd travel time to confess. She may ask herself ''has the moment came and passed?''. Her dreams are still there and they always will be her destiny. But when the dreams are everything that is left, only words can speak the tale. Have you seen the stars? Falling down? You can understand. You have not? You will... You born alone. You die alone. The rest is yours to fill the gap. And now? She's missing someone else.. 

-le me improvising with emir hot-you, and stand and fight songs.

..things, people, feelings will never be the same again..

I listen to a song. A song that is happy and that makes me happy. Well, it's the only thing that makes me happy in last few months.. I tell myself that im over you, that im done, and nothing's gonna happen. And i stay behind my words, just till the next day when i see you.When you give me that look, look that makes me remember my tale, our tale. I remember you, with me, on that field. And in reality we had nothing but our words, and each other, every single day. At the end the guilted invaded notion of someone i once knew. I never thought that could ever be possible. But now, when i talk to you, and it's not so often, i don't recognize you. I just don't know you. Things aren't like they used to be, people aren't the same anymore, and feelings aren't either.When you blame yourself for everything it's much harder to deal with things you're going through.You know that feeling when you're tired of everything.? When it's easier to walk away then fight? And whenever that feeling comes, when the feeling to give up of everything comes you're not ready, you're never ready for it. Somehow you run from it. From the feeling, from the moment. You put a smile on your face and everything you do is pretend. Pretending is good. As long as people can't see you crashing they will treat you as they were going to. Once they see how hurt you are everything's gonna change. 'Cuz some may think everything else you do is pretending, but in reality you're just hiding feelings so you can't hurt anyone else. But i guess no one can see what you're going through. Everyone thinks there's no problems, they think you don't have any, but actually YOUR FEELINGS ARE QUITE ENOUGH problem for u. And yea, maybe i don't have problems, 'cuz i have nothing left with you, 'cuz everything with my family and friends is just fine, but hey, not everything you can just see is a problem, maybe you can't see it or touch it, but it's there. Not everything you can't see is not real, it really is out there. 

I WAS THE ''BOREDOM KILLER''

If things in your life are going good, please, enjoy them, 'cuz they won't last forever. But remember, if they're going bad, they can't last forever either. Maybe one day, you'll regret the chances you didn't took, chances you missed.Don't ever, ever,ever, blame yourself for something you know you haven't done.Don't blame yourself for other people mistakes. Yes, i've been in love. Painful. Pointless. Overrated. I was waiting for those words you didn't said at the end. And i thought it's not the end if they're still unsaid. But then, when you finally did. Not completely but still.. you said everything i had to hear. It's not im not getting used to it.. To be screwed over and over again. Or to trust wrong people. It's just i thought you, ''the you'', for who i actually thought were different screwed me the most. And i can't live with the fact that i have to feel this, what i feel right now, just because i let myself fall for you. People around me keep telling me i should be strong, not to cry, not look back and not to feel what i feel. But the thing is, i am strong. I truly am. I remember how i used to not care and everything was just fine. At the moment i started to care one by one, little pieces of me broke, and fell off. Until, everything that is left it's everything i will ever be, and ever feel. It's ok to cry. You can cry. There's always time to be positive. Now, im not sure if i really wanted the words to be said, but they are, and i can't do anything about it. I've been through all this alone with this blog and words of mine. That. That makes ME strong. And now, when im ready to move on. When i am ready to not think about you, talk about you, when im ready to let you go. To let the memories, and feelings go away. I realize how much time i've lost just sitting and thinking something will change but actually all this time i knew who you really were, i just didn't want to accept it, and live with it. Live with the fact, everything i ever was to you it's boredom killer, and well, seems like im that for everyone else.