im giving all i have not to need you..

Run away? Run away to be lost in the crowd seems like a perfect answer. But running away is such an immature act. And cowardly. If good moments come to you everyday you can get sick of them, and it's not because you don't want them. Because you want something bad. But just, sometimes, all that we need is something called fear of losing everything. And just then you can see what things, what people mean, or don't mean to you. I try. Im trying. I want to go, i want to let everything go. Something is pushing me back, pulling me down and i can't even name the ''something''. Do you have to come now and then and leave some clues and just go, disappear? Is that really necessary? Well, it was never about how i feel, so, why should i care? It was never about how im spending the lonely nights on my own. Now, im ignoring you and it's working. I don't want you to run after me, to chase me, and i don't want you to need me.'Cuz im giving all i have not to need you. Im standing for myself. And you? You are the one that should not be named. You're on the OTHER SIDE. Side, that i don't even look at. And you always will be there. I will always remember you, and i'll remember our tale. But from now on everything you are is a stranger passing by. I won't ever even look at you, i'll just bend my head everytime i see you. 'Cuz you are a stranger standing on the other side. I will, at least, i'll try to remember you with me, on that field. But from tomorrow you have your field, and i'll make my own. I will collect, one by one, slowly and patiently little pieces of my heart i lost. Little pieces you took from me. With no mercy, you just pulled them out of me. You made me standing here all by myself. And just because of you i can't feel anything.

i felt so empty as i cried like part of me had died..

Time is a tricky thing. It passes so fast that you barely realise. And as it goes, as it changes, everything changes with it. It takes your memories and moments, it takes YOUR moments with it. And with time comes happiness, joy.. but sometimes, time brings pain, and sadness. And time is life. With the same time we learn how to live with it, how to live with everything life brings. People change with time too. Same people who once wanted to spent every second of their lifes with u, just talking to u, or just staring at u. Same people who once swore they're going to be there for u when u need them. Same people who are just strangers now. Same people who, now, are not same as they used to be. They left your life without a goodbye, without an explanation, they just.. left.. Becuase it was easier than try to work things out.
And when i talk about people, and when i talk about their actions from past, or from today i think about you.

At this moment you're supossed to come to me. You're supossed to come to me and ask me something. Anything. Maybe you should ask me how i feel. Becuase i was there for you, i was there when no one was. And those are your words, not mine. You said that, it came from your mouth. And i just can't believe you broke your promise, and i never believed you could put everything behind you. All our words, all our messages and all our looks. All those little and meaningless things which are now everything that i have. Everything that is left here for me. It's everything that keeps me alive.